Today I’ve got this Issue on my Nationstates (nationstates.net)
NATIONSNAME Taking Leave Of Its Census?
When the latest National Census asked citizens to specify everything from their shoe size to number of sexual partners, leading privacy activists and the casually paranoid started raging that the process has become too intrusive and that the anonymity of the respondents is at risk.
I’ve encountered with many choices
1. “Enough, I say!” melodramatically rails Warren Brandeis, while angrily doodling crude images of the male anatomy in every tick box on the census form. “With this level of detail, any hope of anonymity and personal privacy will be but a distant whisper. Why should we trust the blasted establishment to know every single detail of our lives, let alone where we live? I have no intention of entrusting the government with my full demographic profile, and I implore anyone with a shred of decency and respect for the sanctity of the domestic sphere to opt-out of this Orwellian intrusion!”
2. “Nonsense!” counters Norman Räikkönen, policy wonk at the CITIZEN Bureau of Statistics, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s of an essay question. “Without accurate and meticulously detailed census data we’ll be completely lost! How can we make informed decisions when there’s no information? How will we know what areas of the country to target with our… welfare programs? No, we need to have greater authority to make sure everyone is filling out the census!”
3. “Yee-haw, pardners,” strums country-music star Billy-Bob Li. “No need to bring out the big guns there fella, I’m sure these fine folks would be just gosh-durned happy to fill out all of your ticky boxes, if you get them in the right mood. Let me and my friends churn out some songs advertising the glories of checking boxes, and you’ll have them lining up to submit all the data you want in no time! To make sure they really, really get the message, you should make all them medias play our hearty honky tonk exclusively during census-time! Now ain’t that a peach?”
4. “Let’s be reasonable here,” suggests Erica Blofeld, manager at ‘Surveys R Us’, while wielding a sharp pair of scissors. “Me and the gang can trim down and freshen up the census for you – a slice here, a dice there – and make it into something so feel-good and inoffensive that nobody will object to answering it. Granted, the results will have to be a bit more, eh, let’s say ‘aggregated’, but I’m sure the boys at the Bureau will manage to make somewhat informed and semi-relevant estimates nonetheless.”
5. “Do we really need a national census anyway?” yawns Ned Cage, a meme-analyst at social media site MyFace, who is using the form as a paper airplane. “It’s a lot of trouble for nothing, if you ask me. If you want to know where someone lives or what their spiritual animal is, you add them on MyFace like everybody else. Why spend a lot of money doing an official census, Leader, when you can easily set up a profile with us and just add everybody?”
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Option 3. sounds nice so I choose it.
The result saids ‘The suicide rate mysteriously skyrockets during census years.’
In result, my nation get a boost of this qualities.
Culture
Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale 1.0%
Social Conservatism
Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index 0.49%
Averageness
Average Standardized Normality Scale 0.17%
And decline in this qualities
Intelligence
Quips Per Hour 0.05%
Civil Rights
Martin Luther King, Jr. Units 0.49%
Cheerfulness
Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full 0.84%
Weather
Meters Of Sunlight 1.2%
Ideological Radicality
Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index 1.2%
Niceness
Average Smiles Per Day 1.7%
This choice is shit.
